I am sick. The lurgy; the plague; the dreaded snot monster. Whatever you like to call it.

I somehow am producing more snot than I know what to do with. I blow my nose and five minutes later it would seem I need to do it again. How does one’s body produce so much snot? And in an awful green colour too.

On the bright side, Man Piece has bought me miracle cure aka Lemsip and more aloe vera tissues. So my nose doesn’t go all red and scaly like a dragon’s arse. There is hope for him after all. (He’s even making it for me.)

So in my lurgy infected day, I have watched several episodes of Pretty Little Liars, Get Him To The Greek, Dear John and Julie and Julia. Surprisingly the best out of all of those was Julie and Julia, mostly due to it spurring me on again and finding the whispiest amount of motivation to write again. Well played, sir, well played.

My head is pounding, my body is aching – although not as much as when I went snowboarding, which reminds me I still haven’t done a post about that. Maybe tomorrow in day two of lurgy watch I can catch up on a bit of blogging. Ever so hopeful.

Where was I? Ah yes, as I was in no condition to cook or even contemplate walking down the hill to fetch sustenance, I ordered Hells. For the first time ever, I had a bad experience with them. My pizza was warm, but in the moist-once hot stage and it lacked the usual amount of cheese. My wedges were not fully cooked, the cheese for the camembert was different it was less soft gooey and more stringy gooey and tasted bad. They also forgot my churros, in which I had to call them up to ask for them. So much effort for someone who can barely think straight because the plague is addling my brain. The delivery guy soon returned with my churros, which seemed to be over-deep-fried. Kind of ew. But in all of this they did bring me extra wedges and Camembert as a sorry for forgetting your churros. That was nice of them.

But as I am only one person (and I had also ordered some mis-fortune cookies), I now have an abundance of Hells sitting in the fridge. Guess that’s lunch and snacks for tomorrow taken care of.

After my disappointing, of sorts, feast, I have since crawled back to the comfort and warmth of bed. Where man piece has provided me with miracle cure, which he made too hot (his first time, I’ll let it slide) and has said I’m pretty, even though I’m in sweats, sweating and have awful green boogers coming out of my nose.

He probably just wants something.

And thus concludes day one of Snot Watch. Join me tomorrow as I detail the second thrilling day of adventure and intrigue on the couch.

Oh, and I wrote this entire post on my iPhone. A lot harder than I thought it would be but a very interesting experiment, nonetheless.