Five years

Jethro and I on our first Valentine's Day.

Jethro and I on our first Valentine’s Day.

I was sitting on the couch at Jethro’s flat in Wellington, watching something on TV. It was a Saturday night. I think we’d just finished dinner. We were still in the phase of getting to know each other – we’d been ‘official’ for just under a month.

My phone rang. It was mum. I picked it up. She immediately asked if Jethro was there with me. Yes, I said. Why? I could hear something in her voice. I asked what’s wrong?

She replied, “Granddad’s dead.”

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Dear Sarah Burnett, I do not choose to be fat

Last week Dr Sarah Burnett wrote a scathing piece deriding fat people. People like me.

It started like this, “Being morbidly obese is a choice. There, I’ve said it. I know it won’t make me popular, that many will accuse me of “fat-shaming”, while others will argue that being grossly overweight is a disability, and who chooses to be disabled?”

Quite frankly, I think this is horrendous, especially coming from someone who works in the health sector. On Friday when it appeared on Stuff.co.nz, her opinion piece made me so angry that I could hardly read it. Then I decided she shouldn’t be allowed to speak into the vacuum without someone setting her straight.

Here it is: I do not choose to be morbidly obese. I am just fat.

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Look at all the f!?ks I give.

I don’t know whether to jump up and down or cry right now. I have so many mixed emotions swirling around my head today and it is so confusing.

Today has been a pretty bad day. I haven’t posted something like what I’m going to say today in a long time, but I feel I need to get it out. This post started out as a post on Instagram, but I found I had a lot more to say than a few sentences.

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On The Web: Depression comics – read and learn

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In the past week on the web there have been two articles which have really stuck out for me which I am going to focus on. Both from Buzzfeed – where else? My love of Buzzfeed has grown again.

The first is on 21 Comics That Capture The Frustrations of Depression.

For me, this article is fantastic. If you can even call it an article.

It made me laugh and got me a bit teary, I will admit. But what it did most of all is start to bring me out of the small pit of depression I had fallen into last week. Sometimes laughing at yourself does that.

The other thing it does is serve as an educational piece – yes, really – for those who don’t suffer from depression, but know people who do.

One of the worst things you can say to someone who is depressed is get over it and that there are people out there in worse life situations than you. This just makes it worse, because you get depressed about being depressed because you really shouldn’t be because you have a better life than some.

Sometimes there is no reason for depression, it just is. You can search for the cause, but you will never find it.

Although not in the article itself, I think one of my all-time favourites is from Hyperbole and a Half. This woman is all kinds of amazing.

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Another I quite enjoy is I Had a Black Dog. I’ve mentioned these ones before. I have both the books packed up in boxes somewhere in New Zealand. Some days I really wish they were here.

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And the second article is 18 Controversial Facts About Being Fat You Need To Know.

This is also something I wish people would learn – just because someone is overweight or bigger than the “average” person, does not make them unhealthy. You do not see what they eat or what exercise they do, therefore you are not allowed to judge and criticise.

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And finally, I laughed so much at these Harry Potter jokes.

Like the weather.

A quote from Stephen Fry:

If you know someone who’s depressed please resolve never to ask them why. Depression isn’t a straightforward response to a bad situation, depression just is, like the weather.

Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the otherside. It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed, but it is one of the kindest, noblest and best things you will ever do.

Please bear with me.

From “I Had a Black Dog” by Matthew Johnstone / google images