Showers and cameras. I don’t actually mix them.

/ Lisa

Showers are weird. Have you ever thought that? They’re actually weird.

How did they come about? History shows most people bathed in baths or had pots of water and cloths. I guess, thus the term “bathing”.

How did we evolve to stand under a spray of water?

It’s actually kind of absurd when you think about it.

Yes I have some random thoughts, but I think this one sprung from Sister finally being able to have an actual shower again.

Since the February 22 earthquake her and Brother-in-law have been using wet-wipes, bowls, flannels, showers in a can etc etc. Their hot water cylinder has finally been fixed and they can *technically* shower again.

Whether the water is safe or not is another question, but it’s not like they’ll be drinking it, right?

Anyway…

There’s a wiki page on the history of showers. The idea originally came from waterfalls (no surprises there, they are nature’s shower after all). Ancient Greeks were the ones to basically form what would look like the modern shower. However with the introduction of Christianity, washing ones self became a taboo.

Bloody Christianity – it has to be the biggest conspiracy of it all (but that’s possibly another discussion for another day).

It wasn’t until the 20th century that they because a common thing again.

I’m now wondering why the hell I felt the need to actually google “showers”. I actually did it. How do you think I found the wiki page?

Yes, feel free to commit me to an insane asylum now because I have just written an entire post about showers.

Maybe I should elaborate about the rest of my day?

Not much at all except, I can has new camera! Canon EOS 1000D with twin lens kit. I don’t have it yet, but I can go pick it up on Thursday. They didn’t have any in the Hastings store of Noel Lemmings, so they’re getting one in. Not sure where from. Probably Napier. They guy obviously wanted the sale though.

Ended up going to Noel’s because Harvey Norman’s had sold out and they person who told us this was not very helpful. Obviously, having an advertised special, once they sell out they get no more in. How ridiculous.

I went round to see friend with kid tonight. I think I’m allergic to cats. She has two tabby cats. The kitten really likes me and wouldn’t leave me alone. I sneezed a lot while I was there. I still am. My eyes are itchy, my throat feels weird and my hands are itchy and have these little white bumps forming on my fingers. :-/

My nose is now completely blocked.

I think I need to wait to try and sleep until the allergies have settled down a bit. So I might try and do another blog post or two on my other blogs and maybe some photography work.

I’m finally getting into it again and I can’t wait to start taking some awesome photos with my new camera. I’ll probably be putting them up on Tumblr, but I will link that if I feel like it. I’m undecided.

Camera was a birthday present from parents. My 24th birthday present. Sigh. 24.

I has to be a grown-up now?

Time to reassess this so called life.

/ Lisa / 1 Comment

I just realised – nothing excites me.

I don’t know why. I can’t get excited about things.

Is it because of my depression? Or is because of my medication that I’m taking for my depression?

Or is it because I’m just in a funk right now that doesn’t seem to want to go away?

Technically I’m supposed to be on “happy pills”, but I don’t find they make me ‘happy’, so to speak. They more-or-less just even out my moods/emotions. I have less ups and downs.

I have less ‘waves’ and more ‘straight lines’.

Straight lines probably at a level which aren’t quite set at ‘happy’?

Meh. I don’t know.

The point of this post? I don’t know that either.

But, I guess I can mention several things that have happened today.

My Ezibuy clothes turned up today. I can has new clothes.

I’ve decided to take a break from Twitter. In my less than joyous mood I am in currently, I thought it might be best. Plus every time I tend to go on there at the moment I want to delete it. I don’t really want to. It’s the first place I go now for my news and interesting articles. I also have heaps of friends on there and it would be sad to not talk to them anymore. I like them all very much. Maybe I need to change how I use it? Cut down on the number of people I follow. I don’t know.

So a break is required. Till I can get the bad thoughts out of my head and I’m less ‘dark and twisty’ and more ‘happy and shiny’ again.

Third thing, I have a new favourite blog. It is @Fatheffalump with her blog of the same name. She kind of inspires me. I love reading her posts because they speak the truth and also hit home.

Even though I am taking a break from twitter, I am not taking a break from blogging. Hopefully everyday I will still have a post for you all to read.

Life sucks, but what you gonna do about it?

/ Lisa / 4 Comments

Things have been getting to me lately. Like, really getting to me.

I’ve been trying to look on the bright side and think ‘a job will come soon’ or ‘not long now’.

But I’m losing that. I’ve had three job interviews this year – that’s also three since I was let go from previous employer. So obviously there is something that I have that employers are interested in.

But I just can’t seem to hook that job.

It is frustrating, upsetting and quite frankly, annoying.

And I feel I’m running out of time.

Since I finished uni in November 2009, I have been on the sickness benefit, not the dole, like some would believe. Back then, I needed it. I didn’t need WINZ breathing down my neck every week asking whether I had gotten a job. Basically on the sickness benefit, they leave you alone as long as you get a medical certificate every three months. Something my Doctor was quite willing to provide, as she could see I was nowhere near capable of taking on a full-time job. And I wasn’t. I knew I wasn’t.

Over the last year and a bit, I have been working on myself, figuring things out and I’ve finally found a medication that works for me. I can more-or-less say, I am a normal person.

When I don’t think about things, I am happy and can be around people and function quite well.

But come the start of May, I’ll no longer have the sickness benefit. I’ll be transitioning to the dole. Frankly I don’t want to have to do that. All the paperwork and jumping through hoops for WINZ – exhausting.

And when I think of everything that has happened so far this year, it makes me want to breakdown and actually just shut down. If I have to deal with WINZ again, I won’t do well. At all.

I hate how I have to rely on my parents to actually feed me and help me live. If I didn’t have them I would most likely be living out of a cardboard box under a motorway by now. Someone who has “fallen through the cracks”.

Now I am starting to back-track again. No movement on the job front is making me get worse. I really needed a job a few months ago, when I was all happy and enthusiastic. I’m not that now and it probably shows. Yet, getting a job is what will pull me out of the funk again. I hope.

I’m not saying it will solve all my problems, but it will help in solving them. The biggest problem of them all is the no money. I’m running out and fast. You only get so much from a benefit in a week and it’s not enough, even with living with my parents. Particularly with petrol prices going up.

So all of this, on top of Granddad dying, Mum having eye surgeries, being away from Man Piece and some people just being absolute dicks, I’m struggling a bit.

I don’t even know the point I was trying to make with this. I just needed to write and I didn’t do a post yesterday.

I can only hope the next job interview I get, I actually get the job too. It’s not a fix to everything, but it will make everything else look less dim. Especially my bank account.

All I know is that when I burst into tears in the middle of the afternoon for no reason, something’s wrong. You can’t know a lot in this world, but that is something I do know. I’ve had curve ball after curve ball in my life and I just wish I’d finally get one that I can actually hit and it goes straight.

I listened to the radio and it wasn’t all that bad.

/ Lisa

I was listening to the radio as I drove home from Napier this afternoon. Now for most people this is probably not something that surprises you. However, I never listen to the radio. Never.

I have gotten over all the shit music and I would rather listen to music that I like and want to listen to instead of trying to find the one song playing on the numerous stations that I like. Yeah.

So, listening to the radio today was fairly unusual for me. The only reason I was, was because my iPod died. Damn.

Here I was, listening, and Avril Lavigne came on. Not any old Avril, but apparently, her new single “What The Hell”.

I was like what the hell!? When did Avril have a new song? Well she does. I should really listen to the radio more often.

Haha, yeah right.

So I was listening and it’s actually quite catchy! A lot of Avril’s songs are quite catchy, but people usually mock her. I quite like her. There I said it.

However, she does look quite ‘white trash’ in the video. Whether that’s on purpose or that’s her style now, who knows?

But here’s the video. Judge for yourselves.

Today has been all over the place.

/ Lisa

I only woke up at 1pm today. I did not mean for that to happen, but I just did. Guess I must’ve needed the sleep.

I had a pretty disturbing dream last night. It’s still running through my mind.

I was kidnapped and sexually abused. People kept trying to find me, but couldn’t get me away from my captor.

Whoever it was, they finally released me, but they found me again once I had gotten back to my life. They became part of it. I finally managed to gather the strength to tell someone about it, to get them out of my life again. But the torment just kept happening and nothing seemed to get done about it.

I was extremely disturbed at this dream. I’ve never had a dream like this before. It left me on edge and wondering what it all meant. What exactly was my sub-conscious trying to process?

I remember being so frustrated in the dream about not being able to escape or get what needed to be said out.

Anyway, after I managed to get the disturbed feeling to go away, I took Mother into town again. She wanted to go shopping.

It paid off because she bought me a couple of tops that I can wear to work, when I get a job.

I also bought a new dress and some stockings from Farmers with a gift card I got for my birthday.

Yay new stockings!

I had pancakes for dinner, with lemon and sugar. Lemon off our tree too! Nice and fresh. It made me feel better having brinner, because I needed some sugary goodness because some people can be so cruel.

Another thing – how can people be so cruel to people they don’t know? You just form an opinion of a person without even talking to them. Or poke your nose in where it doesn’t belong and is unwanted. What is wrong with the human race?

I guess it comes back to the old adage of some people just need to be shot.