Can I has?

Not in the mood to really write anything today, so these are a few things I have seen today that I think would be cool to have.

A sort of “favourite things”.

First a couple links to some *awesome* shoes that I saw today, which I really want, but probably can never have. Well… *maybe* the boots.

The boots and the heels.

I want red boots! Alas, the heels are probably too expensive.

Now for pictures!

This umbrella. It’s totally wicked. Look at all the funny colourful blobs

A room made out of books. How cool is that!?


Literary cuffs. This would be so cool. I can think of many quotes I would gladly have on one of these.

Super Mario tote bag. No more needs to be said.

A hugging ghost ring. Nawwwwwwwwww.


Crayon rings. Best invention ever.

A wittle cute puppy dog to have lub and cuddles with. And kisses. Nawwww.

And a cute little kitteh boom to write humorous LOLcat sayings about.

I had a dream.

I had a dream last night that I found a little black and grey kitten hiding in our garage.

It was so cute and fluffy and all alone.

I kept it and called it Tiger.

Because it had made a nice home in our garage, it wouldn’t leave either.

It grew up so fast.

I want that little black and grey kitten.

Even just to have something to look after every day.

So cute! I want to smoosh it’s face.
*Images from Google Image search*

The black dog likes me far too much.

I have done nothing today.

Nothing at all.

I have had no extraordinary thoughts.

Done nothing extraordinary.

Today has been me doing my usual – sitting on the couch watching TV (Doctor Who). I have written my articles and done nothing of consequence.

I’m starting to think I am a waste of space.

I’ve done nothing with my life and I’m actually sick of looking for a job. Sick of applying for jobs. Sick of doing it all myself. I wish I could hire someone to actually do it all for me. But I have no money. So technically they would have to do it for free.

Losing motivation  is the worst. I wonder where it comes from?

When I started work, it was barely there, but after about a week I found some. I had it for several months, but it’s gone again.

I just looked through all my sent mail and there are so many applications in there. Many I have never heard from. Then of course there are all the ones that I’ve applied for through TradeMe or Fairfax or Seek.

It’s so absurd to be complaining about this. Because yes, I am whining. Whine. Whine. Whine.

I’ve put in so much effort over the last few months and getting nothing for it. Why. Even. Bother.

Blerg. Yeah – bad mood Reesa is back.

Getting out of bed is enough.

Nothing spectacular happened today.

I sat at the breakfast bar for the majority of the day doing work. Mostly calling small businesses in Christchurch to see how they fared after the earthquake.
It was actually quite difficult to hear a few of the stories.
One woman I talked to has basically lost her entire business, she doesn’t even know if she will be able to re-open in another location. It’s just lost.
But what got me, was she said she was still lucky – she had her family and that’s all that mattered.
Then it got me thinking, and I probably should have thought this before, but why does it take an event like this to make you realise the most precious things in your life are sitting right next to you?
People are so blaise on a daily basis. Getting all up-in-arms about petty inconsequential things. Sure, they make life easier and more fun, but as long as you’ve got your family, you should be happy right? You should be thankful?
Most people are and I’m sure people in Christchurch are definitely thinking this.
But for me, I still don’t know what makes me happy. I’ve been so unhappy for years and seeing a situation like Christchurch, I just don’t know how to react sometimes.
It’s like if I was to let the full reality of what has happened in Christchurch in, like really let it in, it would decimate me. I would be in bed for weeks and refuse all food.
So to survive, I don’t care. In order to be me, I can’t care. I go on about my daily life like nothing has happened, like more than 150 people haven’t died in a city that I love.
It might sound harsh and like I actually don’t care, but I do have times where I let it all in and I just can’t function in a daily capacity.
For me, it’s self preservation.
And to me, happiness is being able to get out of bed in the morning.