Today was one of those days where I was never going to be happy.

I wasn’t happy with the outfit I had chosen and I definitely wasn’t happy with how the photos have come out of said outfit. And with the unhappiness of these things then came feelings of hate towards my body.

Why are my arms so flabby? Why are my knees like that? Why am I so goddamn pale? White doesn’t look good on me, I should never wear white. This skirt is showing off my tummy. And on it went.

Contrary to everything I was feeling, Man Piece kept saying ‘You’re pretty”. Even if I didn’t believe him (and still don’t). Because today was one of those days when I was never going to be happy.

But yet, here I am, still posting the photos for Retro week. Even though I would rather delete all photos and forget the whole thing. I’m trying to grow and become more body positive. Even it means posting photos of myself that I believe aren’t that flattering.

So here we go:

Me feeling less than ecstatic about this outfit and pulling a face to hide my discomfort.

I wasn’t really sure what to do for a retro outfit. It’s not really my style. So I turned to Google to give me a vague idea. I saw polka dots, fills, big skirts and go-go boots. And thus this outfit was born.

In theory this outfit works, but it just wan’t working for me today. I haven’t actually worn this skirt since I lived in Auckland – so that is more than 12 months ago – and it doesn’t feel right anymore. But yet I still love it, so it will probably continue to hang in my wardrobe, not being worn. Which is sad, because this is an awesome skirt. It is pleated and has buttons on the front, unfortunately hidden by my top.

As for the top, I wore it a few times last summer, but it has been hanging in my wardrobe ever since. Now that it is warm again, it may make a few more appearances in my outfits. However, the problem with it is that it is white. I don’t like white clothes for two reasons. The first is that white really shows how pale I am and second, when I wear white catastrophe is soon to follow. In the form of sauce befriending said white item.

I really should have known better when buying this, but back in 2011, when I did buy it, I was naive and still getting to know my body and what I liked fashion-wise. I think the top is cute, but if I was to see it on a clothing rack now, I would avoid. The reason I haven’t gotten rid of it? I’m so stubborn about getting rid of any piece of clothing.

I added the scarf to the outfit because I thought something was missing. Even now, I still think there is something missing from the outfit. Maybe I should have donned a jacket? Or added a bit of red lippy?

Adding to my ailments about this week is that I don’t actually have my laptop – it has headed back to Apple with a thermal issue, which arose since the logicboard was replaced a few months ago. So I had to use Man Piece’s laptop (a brick of a thing with Linux on) to edit my photos with GIMP! I yearn for my Mac and Photoshop again.

Top: City Chic
Skirt: City Chic
Boots: Number One Shoes (NZ)
Scarf: Kikki K from its ‘Enjoy the little things’ collection

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