Look at all the f!?ks I give.

I don’t know whether to jump up and down or cry right now. I have so many mixed emotions swirling around my head today and it is so confusing.

Today has been a pretty bad day. I haven’t posted something like what I’m going to say today in a long time, but I feel I need to get it out. This post started out as a post on Instagram, but I found I had a lot more to say than a few sentences.

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On The Web: Depression comics – read and learn

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In the past week on the web there have been two articles which have really stuck out for me which I am going to focus on. Both from Buzzfeed – where else? My love of Buzzfeed has grown again.

The first is on 21 Comics That Capture The Frustrations of Depression.

For me, this article is fantastic. If you can even call it an article.

It made me laugh and got me a bit teary, I will admit. But what it did most of all is start to bring me out of the small pit of depression I had fallen into last week. Sometimes laughing at yourself does that.

The other thing it does is serve as an educational piece – yes, really – for those who don’t suffer from depression, but know people who do.

One of the worst things you can say to someone who is depressed is get over it and that there are people out there in worse life situations than you. This just makes it worse, because you get depressed about being depressed because you really shouldn’t be because you have a better life than some.

Sometimes there is no reason for depression, it just is. You can search for the cause, but you will never find it.

Although not in the article itself, I think one of my all-time favourites is from Hyperbole and a Half. This woman is all kinds of amazing.

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Another I quite enjoy is I Had a Black Dog. I’ve mentioned these ones before. I have both the books packed up in boxes somewhere in New Zealand. Some days I really wish they were here.

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And the second article is 18 Controversial Facts About Being Fat You Need To Know.

This is also something I wish people would learn – just because someone is overweight or bigger than the “average” person, does not make them unhealthy. You do not see what they eat or what exercise they do, therefore you are not allowed to judge and criticise.

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And finally, I laughed so much at these Harry Potter jokes.

The one where I get a job.

Wow. Well, I think the headline says it all really. I have been offered a job.

My hard work, perseverance and determination have all finally paid off to where I am torn between crying in relief or dancing around my room in excitement. Technically I have already done the crying, so I guess once I kick this flu thingy, the dancing will also take place.

It has been a long journey to get to this point. So much has happened in the last, almost, two years since I graduated from AUT with my diploma.

I have hit rock bottom more times than I can remember with my depression, but I have fought the whole way and come out on the other side with a very tame black dog as my shadow. I say shadow, because he will always be there with me, where ever I go in life.

It was needing to tame this black dog, which is why I took some time off after uni. I am all the better for it. Through all of this, the events of the last two years have been a roller coaster ride, which I have survived.

Our family felt the full impact of the Christchurch earthquakes, with my sister and brother-in-law experiencing it all and still doing so. I even felt a few myself in a trip down last October. I got a job and lost that job. I gained a Man Piece, who has supported me in my search for a job and helped me in the taming of the black dog. I lost my Grandfather, which has been a huge change to my family. I’ve struggled with job rejection after job rejection. I’ve looked after my mother while she was in and out of hospital for surgery and needed someone to administer medications.

There are most likely more things that have happened that I haven’t listed, but I’m just not thinking of them right now.

I can finally put down some roots and stop living out of a suitcase going back and forth between my parents and Man Piece. Obviously this means that Man Piece and I will be doing the long distance thing again, but we will work that out.

A big thank you needs to go to everyone who has supported me and told me to keep following my dreams, who have listened to me rant and moan and still stuck by me throughout this journey. Without that support, I would have given up (even though there were a few times that I almost did.)

So today, I end my journey of the #lifeoftheunemployed and enter the gainfully employed.

Tonight I am going out for dinner with my parents to celebrate, possibly have a drink (although I probably shouldn’t ’cause of the antibiotics) and breathe a huge sigh or relief for beating the odds.

So as my Granddad used to say in times like this, “Here’s lookin’ at you, kid!”

Oh, and cause I can’t do a happy dance, here is Neil Patrick Harris doing one for me. I guess I should tell you where it is too – I am to be a journalist at Pharmacy Today in Auckland.