Inconsequential

I win, because I’m higher up the hill.

/ Lisa

Pants-face McGee is totally the new insult.

I have no idea where that came from, but I’m totally going to use it at some point. Like when someone says “You suck!” I’ll just reply, “Well, you’re a pants-face McGee!”

BAM.

They won’t know what hit them, because all they will be thinking is “What The Hell?” and I’ll be able to walk off all superior and be like “neener neener neener, who’s got the higher ground now?”

Totes.

I’m all about meanings lately. Questioning the meanings of little things. I don’t know why, just am, so, what does this mean?

(see what I did there?)

Can you tell I’ve done nothing today? I actually feel hungover. It is my “Wellington Hangover”. It’s a combination of tiredness and dehydration I think. I feel the burn. Frankly, I’d like to soak in a tub of moisturiser and hope it brings back the normal-ness of my skin.

Might leave the post here for the day. Hope I gave you all a chuckle.

What’s the probability of finding a turkey five days after Christmas?

/ Lisa

Father wanted another turkey for New Years day. This was my goal for the day – turkey hunting.

I was so rudely awoken by Sister calling me at 1.20pm. Yeah… let’s just not talk about that one. We already know my schedule is rather loose thanks to a life of the unemployed.

I had heard there was a rad sale going at Glassons currently, so I headed over to Napier once I was not yelling at the world for making me get up.
Success! I found what I was looking for. Three long singlets each priced at $10 each and some awesome nail polishes – neon pink and yellow. *insert evil laugh here*

I then wandered down to Diva, and making my way between the number of tweens wearing cunt scuffs in there, I managed to find a couple of things I had been looking for. Found a very cute ring with a teacup on it. Very Alice In Wonderland and a necklace with, not really sure how else to describe it but, a pocket watch. It is very cool. [Side note: pictures will be up on tumblr.] Oh, and a headband with this really cool purple beaded thing on it. Headbands are cool. Blair Waldorf says so.

On my way back to the car, I realised I had not actually eaten all day. It was probably about 4 o’clock. Unless my stomach is really going hard with the rumbling, I kind of forget to eat. I should really do something about this. Food and I have a love/hate relationship.

So what do I do? Four cheeseburgers please! Totally could have gotten something better than that, but my thinking was that I could eat them without it getting messy while I drive back to Hastings. I was totally thinking. There was only one way to describe those cheeseburgers – the onion was strong in this one.

Yes, that is a Star Wars reference. I am a g33k.

To Pak’n’Sav I went and managed to find almost everything on the shopping list, while fighting through Hastings’ finest.
A side lol: the person in front of me at the checkout had locked her car keys in her car and called a locksmith to come and open it for her. It was going to cost $90. Fuck that, call the AA, woman! Anyway, she didn’t, because the checkout operator offered to break into her car.

Hastings: where a checkout operator is not just a checkout operator, they can break into a car for you!

Alas, they did not have a turkey. To New World I went.

And you guessed it – no turkey.

Onto Countdown. Right again – no turkey.

I then wandered across the road to the Mad Butcher. And again – no turkey.

I finally called Father, because it was his idea and said: “I have been to three supermarkets and am now at the Mad Butcher. No turkeys. Pick something else.”
His reply: “Just buy chicken then.”

YOU COULDN’T HAVE SAID THIS LAST NIGHT WHEN WE WERE WRITING THE SHOPPING LIST AND SAVED ME THE TROUBLE OF THREE SUPERMARKETS!?

Of course not. That’s not what Father does.
So I bought chicken.

Finally I got to come home. I then sat down with a nice cold bottle of water while Father unloaded the groceries. I’m sitting in my room hoping he’ll pick up on the fact I am not cooking dinner. Frankly, I can’t be bothered. Exhausted.

Tonight I foresee me watching The Princess Diaries 2 and Sister Act 2. Then probably some Scrubs season 3. There will be some amazing quotes. I especially love the one from Princess Diaries:

“I look like a moose.”
“But a very cute moose. Make all the boy mooses go WAAAHHHHHHHHHH.”

Oh, and the probability of finding a turkey five days after Christmas?
Zero per cent.

Welcome to my life.

/ Lisa

My day started at 1pm. Yes. You read that correctly. I did not emerge from my cave until 1pm.

But what do you expect from someone who is unemployed? Down on their arse, nothing to do and was kept awake most of the night by the extreme wind and heat that decided to hang around like a bad smell?

Didn’t think so.

The day didn’t progress much from there. I partook in the normal human condition of having to feed my face (turkey, camenbert, cranberry all in a nice wrap and a piece of fudge on the side) as well as guzzling the several glasses of coke zero that I need for my body to keep functioning at normal levels.

Retreating back to my cave of a bedroom I watched the original Fame. Now, I have seen this before, but it was actually super boring. Why do people make such a big fuss about it?

Honestly. BORING.

I hate to see what they did with the remake. I thought there would be more performing like in High School Musical, now that is awesome and what a movie about singing and dancing should be like.

By the time this had finished, I was able to watch the American version of The Biggest Loser. I don’t agree with the ways they lose weight, but it is rather hilarious to watch as you shove toblerone into your chomps while Bob and Gillian are yelling at contestants to get their arses moving.

Six pm then meant news time and as a media junkie, I got my daily dose of news from TVNZ.

I ❤ them.

Then I proceeded to feed my face again with bacon, avocado and cheese burgers. Plural. Two.

Anyone else thinking fatty, fatty, fatty?

Just me then…

I proceeded to rot my brain, as my Grandparents would call it, by watching Parks and Recreation: “I’m really hot, can we take a break?” “Ok, let’s blow in each other’s faces.”

Then I decided to finally have a shower. Because I can wait until 8pm to get clean and smell like a peach again. That’s just the way I roll. The unemployed way I roll.

Yeah, you’re totally jealous of my life right now aren’t you?

I caught the tale end of How I Met Your Mother and finally realised this post is rather self absorbed and boring (glass shattering).

For the evening, I foresee myself watching The Event, The Big C and then probably some of season 2 of Scrubs and probably The Young Victoria.

I’ll try and sleep around 2am while listening to Miley Cyrus’ “When I Look At You”, but toss and turn and wake up numerous times until I decided to haul my arse out of bed at some point tomorrow morning.

Welcome to my life.