What’s the probability of finding a turkey five days after Christmas?

Father wanted another turkey for New Years day. This was my goal for the day – turkey hunting.

I was so rudely awoken by Sister calling me at 1.20pm. Yeah… let’s just not talk about that one. We already know my schedule is rather loose thanks to a life of the unemployed.

I had heard there was a rad sale going at Glassons currently, so I headed over to Napier once I was not yelling at the world for making me get up.
Success! I found what I was looking for. Three long singlets each priced at $10 each and some awesome nail polishes – neon pink and yellow. *insert evil laugh here*

I then wandered down to Diva, and making my way between the number of tweens wearing cunt scuffs in there, I managed to find a couple of things I had been looking for. Found a very cute ring with a teacup on it. Very Alice In Wonderland and a necklace with, not really sure how else to describe it but, a pocket watch. It is very cool. [Side note: pictures will be up on tumblr.] Oh, and a headband with this really cool purple beaded thing on it. Headbands are cool. Blair Waldorf says so.

On my way back to the car, I realised I had not actually eaten all day. It was probably about 4 o’clock. Unless my stomach is really going hard with the rumbling, I kind of forget to eat. I should really do something about this. Food and I have a love/hate relationship.

So what do I do? Four cheeseburgers please! Totally could have gotten something better than that, but my thinking was that I could eat them without it getting messy while I drive back to Hastings. I was totally thinking. There was only one way to describe those cheeseburgers – the onion was strong in this one.

Yes, that is a Star Wars reference. I am a g33k.

To Pak’n’Sav I went and managed to find almost everything on the shopping list, while fighting through Hastings’ finest.
A side lol: the person in front of me at the checkout had locked her car keys in her car and called a locksmith to come and open it for her. It was going to cost $90. Fuck that, call the AA, woman! Anyway, she didn’t, because the checkout operator offered to break into her car.

Hastings: where a checkout operator is not just a checkout operator, they can break into a car for you!

Alas, they did not have a turkey. To New World I went.

And you guessed it – no turkey.

Onto Countdown. Right again – no turkey.

I then wandered across the road to the Mad Butcher. And again – no turkey.

I finally called Father, because it was his idea and said: “I have been to three supermarkets and am now at the Mad Butcher. No turkeys. Pick something else.”
His reply: “Just buy chicken then.”

YOU COULDN’T HAVE SAID THIS LAST NIGHT WHEN WE WERE WRITING THE SHOPPING LIST AND SAVED ME THE TROUBLE OF THREE SUPERMARKETS!?

Of course not. That’s not what Father does.
So I bought chicken.

Finally I got to come home. I then sat down with a nice cold bottle of water while Father unloaded the groceries. I’m sitting in my room hoping he’ll pick up on the fact I am not cooking dinner. Frankly, I can’t be bothered. Exhausted.

Tonight I foresee me watching The Princess Diaries 2 and Sister Act 2. Then probably some Scrubs season 3. There will be some amazing quotes. I especially love the one from Princess Diaries:

“I look like a moose.”
“But a very cute moose. Make all the boy mooses go WAAAHHHHHHHHHH.”

Oh, and the probability of finding a turkey five days after Christmas?
Zero per cent.

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