What’s the probability of finding a turkey five days after Christmas?

Father wanted another turkey for New Years day. This was my goal for the day – turkey hunting.

I was so rudely awoken by Sister calling me at 1.20pm. Yeah… let’s just not talk about that one. We already know my schedule is rather loose thanks to a life of the unemployed.

I had heard there was a rad sale going at Glassons currently, so I headed over to Napier once I was not yelling at the world for making me get up.
Success! I found what I was looking for. Three long singlets each priced at $10 each and some awesome nail polishes – neon pink and yellow. *insert evil laugh here*

I then wandered down to Diva, and making my way between the number of tweens wearing cunt scuffs in there, I managed to find a couple of things I had been looking for. Found a very cute ring with a teacup on it. Very Alice In Wonderland and a necklace with, not really sure how else to describe it but, a pocket watch. It is very cool. [Side note: pictures will be up on tumblr.] Oh, and a headband with this really cool purple beaded thing on it. Headbands are cool. Blair Waldorf says so.

On my way back to the car, I realised I had not actually eaten all day. It was probably about 4 o’clock. Unless my stomach is really going hard with the rumbling, I kind of forget to eat. I should really do something about this. Food and I have a love/hate relationship.

So what do I do? Four cheeseburgers please! Totally could have gotten something better than that, but my thinking was that I could eat them without it getting messy while I drive back to Hastings. I was totally thinking. There was only one way to describe those cheeseburgers – the onion was strong in this one.

Yes, that is a Star Wars reference. I am a g33k.

To Pak’n’Sav I went and managed to find almost everything on the shopping list, while fighting through Hastings’ finest.
A side lol: the person in front of me at the checkout had locked her car keys in her car and called a locksmith to come and open it for her. It was going to cost $90. Fuck that, call the AA, woman! Anyway, she didn’t, because the checkout operator offered to break into her car.

Hastings: where a checkout operator is not just a checkout operator, they can break into a car for you!

Alas, they did not have a turkey. To New World I went.

And you guessed it – no turkey.

Onto Countdown. Right again – no turkey.

I then wandered across the road to the Mad Butcher. And again – no turkey.

I finally called Father, because it was his idea and said: “I have been to three supermarkets and am now at the Mad Butcher. No turkeys. Pick something else.”
His reply: “Just buy chicken then.”


Of course not. That’s not what Father does.
So I bought chicken.

Finally I got to come home. I then sat down with a nice cold bottle of water while Father unloaded the groceries. I’m sitting in my room hoping he’ll pick up on the fact I am not cooking dinner. Frankly, I can’t be bothered. Exhausted.

Tonight I foresee me watching The Princess Diaries 2 and Sister Act 2. Then probably some Scrubs season 3. There will be some amazing quotes. I especially love the one from Princess Diaries:

“I look like a moose.”
“But a very cute moose. Make all the boy mooses go WAAAHHHHHHHHHH.”

Oh, and the probability of finding a turkey five days after Christmas?
Zero per cent.