My day started at 1pm. Yes. You read that correctly. I did not emerge from my cave until 1pm.

But what do you expect from someone who is unemployed? Down on their arse, nothing to do and was kept awake most of the night by the extreme wind and heat that decided to hang around like a bad smell?

Didn’t think so.

The day didn’t progress much from there. I partook in the normal human condition of having to feed my face (turkey, camenbert, cranberry all in a nice wrap and a piece of fudge on the side) as well as guzzling the several glasses of coke zero that I need for my body to keep functioning at normal levels.

Retreating back to my cave of a bedroom I watched the original Fame. Now, I have seen this before, but it was actually super boring. Why do people make such a big fuss about it?

Honestly. BORING.

I hate to see what they did with the remake. I thought there would be more performing like in High School Musical, now that is awesome and what a movie about singing and dancing should be like.

By the time this had finished, I was able to watch the American version of The Biggest Loser. I don’t agree with the ways they lose weight, but it is rather hilarious to watch as you shove toblerone into your chomps while Bob and Gillian are yelling at contestants to get their arses moving.

Six pm then meant news time and as a media junkie, I got my daily dose of news from TVNZ.

I ❤ them.

Then I proceeded to feed my face again with bacon, avocado and cheese burgers. Plural. Two.

Anyone else thinking fatty, fatty, fatty?

Just me then…

I proceeded to rot my brain, as my Grandparents would call it, by watching Parks and Recreation: “I’m really hot, can we take a break?” “Ok, let’s blow in each other’s faces.”

Then I decided to finally have a shower. Because I can wait until 8pm to get clean and smell like a peach again. That’s just the way I roll. The unemployed way I roll.

Yeah, you’re totally jealous of my life right now aren’t you?

I caught the tale end of How I Met Your Mother and finally realised this post is rather self absorbed and boring (glass shattering).

For the evening, I foresee myself watching The Event, The Big C and then probably some of season 2 of Scrubs and probably The Young Victoria.

I’ll try and sleep around 2am while listening to Miley Cyrus’ “When I Look At You”, but toss and turn and wake up numerous times until I decided to haul my arse out of bed at some point tomorrow morning.

Welcome to my life.