When I read that this week’s Aussie Curves challenge was your vulnerable side, I had no idea what I would do.

I have spent all week thinking about it and looked at what other people have done, just to try and understand (as this is all still new to me) what to do.

In the end, I chose an outfit which I don’t wear often because it does show off certain assets which I still tend to hide.

Let me back track a little bit. I have been overweight my entire life. I don’t remember a time when I actually considered myself a ‘normal’ size. (I blame society and the media for putting this idea in my head, because really, what is ‘normal’?)

Growing up, throughout high school and well into my years at university, I hid my body. I covered it up and wore very unflattering clothes. Baggy t-shirts, ill-fitting jeans, hoodies and board shorts – yes board shorts! – were part of my normal wardrobe. I never wore skirts and I certainly did not own dresses. Looking back at photos makes me cringe with how badly dressed I was.

This does come in part to what clothes were available to me. Small town New Zealand doesn’t have many options. In fact, 10 years ago plus size clothing didn’t offer many options. I wore what I was comfortable in – what society thought I should be comfortable in – and I was ok.

When I finished university, I was incredibly depressed, but as I was treated for that, I began to come out of my shell. My confidence grew, I became more body positive and I started to dress differently.

This partly coincided with plus size fashion really starting to take off and I finally discovered City Chic. I fell in love instantly. I have not stopped shopping with them since.

My transformation from being a wallflower to building self-confidence and becoming ok with my body was helped in part to actually being able to find clothes that fit me and that I liked. Knowing that I was not alone also played a huge part.

Even though I still have days, or even weeks, where I hate my body for what it is, I am very far from what I thought of my body back in high school (even though I’m bigger now than I was back then). I’m now comfortable showing off my arms, showing a bit of boob and even sometimes my legs, in all their glowing whiteness.

This dress, from none other than City Chic, shows the above – baring my arms for all to see the flabby-ness and my boobs. Yes you can see my bra, but I don’t care. At least I’m wearing one.

I’m still a bit uncomfortable when wearing this dress, but today I kind of didn’t care – Sydney got up to 30 degrees, so the less clothes I wore, the better.

My confidence and body-positivity are still growing. They grow with reading fellow plus size bloggers’ stories, seeing what they are wearing and finding new clothes from new places which make me feel awesome. (Like ASOS, I’m falling for ASOS in a big way.)

Dress: ‘Hello Sailor’ from City Chic
Leggings: Moda from Target
Shoes: Target

 

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